Hello! Welcome to our show, where we take a look at odd specimens and how they live their lives. On today’s show we have Sage the window cleaner. Sage has lived in the same 400 square foot apartment in New York City for 4 years. Why 4 years? Because the place they lived before this got their rent hiked up due to COVID, so Sage had to move to a worse part of town in Manhattan.

Of course, they still live in Manhattan, so there’s that. Sage is allergic to both cats and dogs (not that the landlord would let them own pets anyway), they are single, and have no family of any kind. All of those phone calls you get from relatives asking how you are, and what you are doing at all hours of the day? Not for Sage, it would seem. They live a totally solitary life.

Have I mentioned that they are single? Not on purpose, I am afraid. They have been “taking a break from dating for my mental health” for about 2 years. That means that there are no babies crying to feed in the morning, nor is there a partner asking why they haven’t been keeping up with them. Admittedly, Sage was never good at the love thing. Remember Meatloaf? “I would do anything for love”? Well, Sage would do nothing for love, and would tell you the same. Not to mention, since they have no pets, no dogs are hitting to go out in the middle of the night, and no cats are messing around with what’s on the countertop.

They wake up every day to the sound of their alarm and the general hum of traffic that comes with living in the city. They get dressed for work, eat a Pop-Tart, drink a cup or two of coffee, and head towards the job site. They are a contractor, hopping from tower to tower on a daily basis. They typically commute using the subway system, occasionally walking if the site was close enough. Then they start their job.

Not a people person? Then window washing may be for you. Getting lifted hundreds of feet in the air just to wipe shit off of the windows of some business’s office building may sound like it gets old. …It does. But if you are an introvert like Sage, this kind of gig is perfect. Just plug in your headphones and jam out to some classic tunes. Oddly enough, watching YouTube while eating your packed lunch does not feel different 300 feet in the air.

Once their work day is complete, they pack up, and come home. They take the same walk or train ride back to the apartment, badge in at the fob, take the elevator, then come back in. All while not talking to anybody or interacting with anyone. They do this five days a week, 52 weeks in a year. Sometimes, if they’re feeling hoppy, they may take a vacation to somewhere nice like Maine or Vermont. No, I’m not joking, that’s actually where they go.