Where Is My Mind?
Tick tock tick tock you better hurry. No take a breath slow down this only lasts for a short time enjoy it. Have I paid all my bills? I need to do laundry. What’s should I make for dinner? I am so tired. The baby needs a bath. I have an appointment tomorrow. We are low on diapers. Probably need to move to the size up. Goodness this child has such a sweet smile. Phone is ringing crap hurry. Schedule this person, write up and invoice for this one. Do payroll and make bank deposit. Did I call in that power drop and permit? The baby is fussy time for a bottle, maybe a nap too. Gosh I feel gross. When did I shower last? Bottle is empty baby isn’t tired yet okay go play. Rinse out the bottle. I think I’m hungry. Let’s get a snack. Phone is ringing hurry hurry. Spam call. Have I had coffee yet? Let’s brew a pot. First water, then a new filter and now the, baby is crying. He really needs a nap. Okay he doesn’t want to nap. Let’s hold him for a bit and finish the coffee. One two three four scoops and on. Let’s put you in your walker and turn on bear and the big blue house. Gosh he is getting so fast. And so curious, no no don’t touch that. Let’s block this off. Beep beep coffee is done. Gosh it smells good. Half a cup and some creamer. I’ll sit for a bit if and drink this while he plays. I needed this. Phone rings. Hurry. Spam again. Baby is still fussy. Okay I’ll make a small bottle. Baby drinks half of bottle and goes down easy for a nap success. Sit back down at the desk and feel like I’m missing something. Oh yeah coffee. Take a sip, and it’s cold. Heat up coffee. 30 seconds, 15,14,13 that’s should be good. Close the microwave quietly baby is asleep. Tip toe to desk. Finish payroll and invoices and scheduling. On the last task baby wakes up smiling. God I love him. He is so cute. How come he is so cute and everyone says he looks like me, and I still feel ugly? I should feel cute since he is cute and looks like me. What is wrong with me. Ooo that’s a big stretch, let’s pick up that baby and snuggle him. He is so sweet after a nap. The weight of his head on my should is heaven. His breath smells a little like sour milk and I love it. I take a big whiff as I land a big smooch in his cheek. I press him into me the warmth of his nap lingering. He sits so still, trying to fully wake up. I pet his head his hair still feels like velvet. The skin of his check so soft against mine. He fills my arms up so much now. I love that there is more of him to squeeze. His head perks up at the sound of a truck driving by. I whisk him to the window still pressed close to me. He peers out looking left and right carefully. Suckling his paci intently. He lights up when another vehicle passes and I feel myself smile. I watch him watching cars drive by for what feels like forever.