“Again, I think you are confusing me with a genie,” the Devil flared, annoyed that he had been summoned from the firey underworld by a raggedy teenager who immediately started asking for more than three wishes.

“I really thought the whole ‘Dark Lord’ thing was a myth!” I shrieked, nearly knocking over the candles I had set up in the pentagram on the floor. Now that the real Devil was standing before me, I didn’t know what move to make next. The only reason I had called upon him was to see if he could like get me beer or something badass. Now it seemed like maybe I had the wrong guy, cuz I’m not selling my soul for some PBR…unless it’s an endless supply…nah even then.

With a snap of his knarled, clawed fingers the Devil froze me in time and was slowly scratching his nails along the wall as he approached. He smelled awful, of burnt flesh and hamburger. His eyes were yellow and unrelenting peering through me. This wasn’t fun anymore. “I take it back, I don’t want anything!” I yelled when his breath burned hot near my cheek.

He let out a loud unsettling laugh that made me pee my pants a little. As it ran down my leg I knew I was in trouble and that the Devil wasn’t quite the chill dude I thought he was. With loving all that evil fun I thought maybe we’d get along, now I feared for not only my life but what might happen after it’s all over.

Feeling a nervous breakdown coming on, I closed my eyes and prayed. As quickly as he came, he left; me standing alone in my room, urine stained pants, and my hands full of unfulfilled wishes.