i’m alive but im dead… as i say out loud in front of my friends..,, haha haha ?!, trying to laugh it off

they look and say “are you okay?“

my words couldn’t escape out my mouth but in my head i’m screaming out for HELP .. but what comes out is i’m okay are you guys okay ? , thats my reality i keep it all in

no one needs to hear my stories because they wouldn’t understand my pain and suffering so ion won’t say.

but it sucks I’m hurting and no one can see it , i believe I’m not giving it off that i am & I’m happy that I’m not but i would rlly wish i had the support i give out , i need someone there for me so i wouldn’t feel so alive but dead but if its just a mind game why i feel this game crashing me down instead..

im happy,… i am,.. seriously i promise i just rlly wish things in life were different and better but shiii happens for a reason right & i ask myself all the time why I’m in a unstable situations but no one have a answer for that which is cool .. just really wish things were better but i’m alive lol dead .