I sit on my bed doing my work

Focused

Progressing more with each passing minute

I smile, proud of the work I’ve done

Until I hear the sound

The sound that makes me stiff

The sound that makes me shake

The footsteps

The creaky stairs that follow him with every step

Where’s mom?

I should say no

I should scream until my lungs hurt

He says I’m beautiful

My doubting mind listening to each word

Hungry for admiration

He knows what I need

He knows my flaws and how to use them against me

I stay silent, knowing I would rather go through hell

Then to put my mom there

It would destroy her

So I move backwards to not have to feel the pain of the future.