“NO!!”

“Please, Miss Valentina, we just need a stand-in.”

“I do not want to have anything to do with my brother’s business! I can’t believe you’ve found me. If my brother finds out that you have been harassing me and my family…”

“Please, we will not cause trouble. It was actually your brother, the boss, who had sent us. In fact, your brother is actually about to call you.. right about.. now.”

My phone rang. Dammit.

“Valentina”

“Valentino”

“Sis.”

“Oh don’t you sis me, Tino.”

“Tina, please. We just need a stand-in.”

“Yeah Vincent’s explained. I.. really don’t want anything to do with the family business.”

“Tina, we will offer you protection.”

“Protection I would not need if I wasn’t involved.”

“Please. Just one deal. They need to see my face or your face, no one can tell us apart except Mamma.. or else the deal is off.”

“No!”

“Sis, please. You just need to nod and give the guy an affectionate slap on the face.”

“So why can’t you show your face?”

“Hives.”

“Oh my god, did you have the brodetto at Don’s again?”

“I love it too much.”

“Oh for goodness sakes, Tino, that stock is a lethal cocktail for you, you gotta stop!!”

“An Italian allergic to tomatoes.. I lament my tragic fate.”

“Seriously?! It’s not as bad as having a twin brother as a mobster..!!”