I groaned, before collapsing on the bed.

The funeral is finally over. The day is finally over. What a relief. All those people surrounding me when I just want to grieve alone.

I’d cry but I feel too empty. I’d yell but my anger feels uncoordinated. I’d sleep but my thoughts are filled with her face.

Thace.

Her long black hair framing her face; her eyes were always kind and her smile was always welcome.

It hurts beyond description to think I’ve moved to past tense already.

My beautiful sister, taken by an ugly car accident.

A tear leaked out from somewhere inside me.

What would she say to me now?

She’d allow me to grieve; she’d allow me to lean on her. But she’s not here to lean on.

Tears come out a little faster now. The aching sorrow I feel builds up, concentrating and whirling, crushing my heart. I’m crying hard now, no longer silent. It doesn’t matter though, I’m all alone with no one to hear my sobs.

Finally, sleep takes me.

My dream was the way it used to be, when Thace was here. She smiled at me and her eyes crinkled. I hugged her tight, telling her not to go again.

“I won’t, silly,” she hugged back. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Thace’s face was a sight for sore eyes, her chuckle music to my ears.

“Please,” I whispered, “please. Please don’t leave me.”

She touched my face. “Alex,” she looked me in the eye, “I won’t.”

She won’t lie to me. She never did.

I got lost in all we did. We talked and remembered and laughed. My heart healed. “Remember that time we panicked looking for your fish and it turned out you had taken him to have a bath with you?” She laughed.

“What about that time you wanted to use mom’s shampoo but you used hair dye?” I shot back.

“All those times I beat you in Boggle,” she smirked.

“All those times you used salt instead of sugar when baking cookies.”

“Once,” she feigned offense.

I raised my eyebrows. “Twice,” I counted.

Thace was back. She was here with me. There’s no doubt about it this was her. So why? Why did I feel doomed?

I found out.

I felt her slipping. “You said you wouldn’t go!”

“You’re the one going!” She pleaded. Then Thace was gone.

I woke up to that creeping emptiness.

This world took Thace.

This world shattered my hope and drop-kicked my feelings.

This world wasn’t worth it.

That was what I decided as I laid down to see her again.

Did I do a realistic job describing his feelings? Any way I can do better is appreciated!