Dear Diary,

Today is the day.

I’ve written about this for weeks. Jotted down every last detail to the second…and yet I still don’t feel ready for this.

I know this day has been everything I’ve been dreaming of. I’ve had my outfit laid out on that chair for two days now.

My favourite pair of jeans. The ones she bought me two years ago for Christmas.

I can still remember the way she eagerly waited as I tore the paper from the cardboard box that held something I knew she was proud of.

“Well… go on. Open the box! Ive been waiting for you to see” and then she smiled that whimsical smile I just can’t help but fall in love with.

I opened the box and pulled out a pair of black jeans. She couldn’t help but push me right into the bathroom to try them on.

They were a bit tight but they went perfectly with the sweater she had got for my birthday. (I have that laid out on the chair as well) I walked out and her smile said it all.

“You have to wear that to dinner tonight. Please! For your princess!”

She knew I couldn’t say no to her.

Dear Diary,

Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

I know that time is running short. There isn’t much left to do before time runs out; am I starting to second guess myself?

For a year I have yearned to return to her. My mind runs circles trying to understand where I must have gone wrong. And as the days had gone by I had begun to obsess over those last few days spent together.

I have ripped apart every inch of this city looking for her face in hopes the truth could be a lie. In hopes I could remind her one last time of her strength and beauty. How her smile lit up the room. How she made all the bad days wash away.

I wish to wrap my arms around her one last time so I could have the chance to tell her she is loved.

Dear Diary,

Tonight is the day.

The day I finally get to meet my princess once again. Oh how I long to feel her warm hands in mine, our finger tips bounding our love within our hands. Holding each other as if our very life’s depend on it.

I am excited to kiss her again. How she sends shivers down my spine with the slightest touch.

I’m in the black jeans and birthday sweater. I know she won’t be able to stop smiling when she sees me wearing these. I won’t be able to say much but she’ll laugh enough for the both of us. “How did it take you so long” she’ll say. I won’t have an answer.

In front of my window, at 3:00am, I will step up on that chair. Wearing my jeans and singing our song. I promise you I will let the noose swallow my soul and we can reunite in heaven.

My princess, I will be home soon, you won’t have to be alone anymore.