The weight of the thick honey dripping to the ground sucked me dry. The blade, it’s base, it’s new home- well, if I’d actually done wrong, it would have been more like a court.

So to you, my dear, happy New Year’s Eve!

To make the night just a little brighter,

I picked out the most colourful fireworks,

And gently pushed them down your throat,

Stick up,

To light upon the dreamiest night sky,

And watch as you fly into it,

Dazzling pieces of you sparking across the vastest, pitchest of black-

Aren’t you a beautiful sight?

I love every one of them to bits-

By Christmas, I had fifteen limber stockings

Up by my fireplace,

Each filled to the brim with _dog_ bones,

Serving their utmost of use

Before rotting to a pile of maggot- infested meat-

Oh, but how lovely you all looked before,

Obediently hanging side by side.

If you were naughty children in life,

I’d put you on the nice list

As your final service-

Aren’t you all thrilled to have been given purpose, instead of being buried

In the same soil

The putrid carcasses of men worn

Like the old tip of a match share?

What of Easter?

I’ll tell you;

Each egg had been set up thoughtfully,

A couple scattered across the playground,

The rest tucked neatly behind classroom desks,

A half a minute, and the windows were shattered,

Dust gathering into debris mid flight.

I caught a glimpse of one of their adorable faces twisting into confusion as the egg cracked,

A blow so sudden it burned

their face right off-

Surprise!

It had only taken a few minutes for all

Of the confetti to lay,

And I promised myself I’d return later

To receive the teachers thanks.

I hoped that Santa also had my

_Thank you_ present prepared.