Gus!! Gus!! Come here buddy! I’ve got a treat for you!

He always did this at the worst times. Never on a nice sunny day. Never when I don’t have to leave in 10 minutes. Remind me, why do we have dogs again?? That’s right…it’s because they’re hilarious and lovable and they smell funny. Like dogs should. Just a reminder, if you don’t like them…you belong on a list.

Today was especially inconvenient, but I own it. He had unintentionally created a modern art masterpiece with his big greasy nose thanks to the geese just outside in the marsh.

He sat panting and making that weird mumble growl dogs do while watching them through the the glass door. I was naive enough to think that I had the physical prowess to quickly open the door, carrying a tote bag full of swim gear and then close it with my foot….without letting the old boy outside.

Everyone said getting a hound would be a pain in the ass. Well, he’s not a hound. Not a purebred anyway. He could just as well be part muppet for all I know. They don’t do a lot of research at the humane society.

So here I am…again, walking this path, in the rain and mud, calling and hoping that the big meathead comes lumbering back sooner than later. It’s a weekly occurrence, but he’s my meathead and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I hear the clobbing of muddy paws getting closer and closer. The cordgrass to my right suddenly parts to reveal the man (dog) of the hour.

Please God…don’t let him be covered in some heinous puree of dead fish and mud.

Did I mention that one of his favorite past times is finding the most atrocious smelling things on earth and rolling in it? Dogs…gotta love them, right?

The God’s were smiling on me today. No poo. No dead animal. He was smeared with mud and one of those big goofy dog grins, that’s it. Small potatoes when you consider the possibility of all the nauseating things one could find along the seashore if they were to look long enough.

He did come back, he’s not as gross I feared…so a milk-bone it is. I know, I’m a big softy. Now back to the house to pack up car and head back home. Back to reality.