I’m searching for my happiness here and there I didn’t find it!.why I couldn’t catch it maybe because I’m a messy person there are alot of papers here and there

Books threw out on the floor and on the bed and under it disgusting am i good reader?

I didn’t make my bed and the blanket is threw out on the floor the laptop was opened and the nuts was on it I couldn’t see the keyboard also the tv was opening while i was talking in mobile I’ve been frantic with worry about myself

I’m condoned about how am i look because that is me it’s my behaviour should I change it or accept myself as am i my handwriting also is not good i herd the messy people called genius am i genius ?!