“Hello-“

Suzy Lee sat, half-slumped in her chair, struggling to muster up enough enthusiasm for another caller. There’d be another after this one, and another after that, for which more enthusiasm would be needed, but she had long since resolved that those a problem for the her of the future. For now, one at a time.

“I’m Suzy Lee with DayCorp limited, you appear to have selected “three” for the technical helpline, how may I help you today?”

Yeah, Suzy. That’s good!

“Well, I…”

The caller seemed to stumble over their own words, as though caught by surprise.

“Ms. Suzy Lee, I appear to have a problem. I followed your packages instructions to the letter, I’ve used all the parts…”

Oh. Let her guess. It’s not working. She wonders if this one even plugged it in.

“and I believe I may have received the wrong box.”

Bummer. This one was gonna want a refund, weren’t they?

“Ok then, can I ask what product you ordered, and what you appear to have received?” She threw back the reply from the employee training course, half-hearted. She longed to be back in marketing.

“I ordered the toaster, I believe the, um.” The caller seemed to be struggling again.

“The DayGlow Food Preparation 3-in-1?” She offered. Only toaster in the catalog.

“Yes! That one, I believe! And what I received appears to be…” Once again. Poor guy must be really startled, struggling for words like this. Might not speak the language well, actually, but aren’t there foreign helplines?

“Well. It appears to be much larger. And more… bulbous?”

Suzy sat up a bit straighter. Bulbous? DayCorp products are always boxy. It’s one of their selling points, the industrial look.

And there appeared to be something else over the line. A whirring, faint, from somewhere on the other side.

Probably nothing.

“Mhrhgm,” she cleared her throat, “could you describe it in a built more detail please, then, appreciated customer?”

“It’s about… this high,” useless “black, but kinda colorful, like an oil spill. All bubbly and bulbous, a bit wider at the bottom than the top, and…” they seemed to stop talking, then yelped “VERY hot. Very, very very hot.”

“Mmm.” She began to idly read through her checklist, half-listening to his description. “And what does it appear to be doing?”

“Uh. Pulsing, slightly? Sometimes little parts of it kinda melt, and fall. It’s getting on the floor.”

The whirring was much, much louder now.

Suzy held the receiver from her face, and poked her head from her cubicle, shouting down the area aide.

“Rav! Rav! Hey Rav! Do we have any kinda heaters on record? Something big and black?”

The temp bit his lip slightly, and shook his head.

“No ma’am, I don’t believe so, I can check the full product listing, if you want, it might be something old.”

“Yeah, go do that. Make sure to double-check, too.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

The temp scurried away. Good. Even if he didn’t find anything, everyone knew he ratted to the boss.

She resumed her call, just barely hearing something like the end of a scream as she put the phone to her ear. She idly used that if she’s hearing things, she should really take a brake.

“Sorry about that, we’re checking for any products that fit that description. In the meantime, do you happen to have a receipt for your order?”

“Hello?”

Nothing. The customer must’ve put the phone down again. All that was coming over was a loud whirring, and some sort of keening noise. Sounded like something boiling, too?

“Hellooooo? Anyone there?”

The keening sound changed pitch, as if to reply. Nothing.

Well. Boss said she always needed to check three times, so…

“Anybody there?”

Nope. Nothing but another pitch-change.

She sighed. She hated the ditchers. Jerks. At least she didn’t need to go through inventory and shipping for a refund, this way.

She hung up the phone, getting tired of all the background noise. The whirring and keening, thankfully, stopped.

Well. Hopefully that customer’s happy with what they got. She stood, stretched, and looked around for the boss. She must be really fatigued, now; maybe he’d let her take an early lunch.