Freaky Friday-ed
All stale beer and roasted peanuts, the smell of McClusky’s made Officer Jack O’Connor relax. After the shift he had O”Connor needed to unwind. He strolled to the bar where his buddy Officer Karen Lipton saved a stool for him. Tate the bartender looked him over and set a Coors Light and a bowl of nuts in front of him. They clinked bottles.
“Why do we always get the crazy ones?” O’Connor asked.
“Just lucky I guess. What was the full story with that cuckoo? I couldn’t make hide nor hair of whatever the hell she was saying.”
“That my dear Lipton was Tara Hanson.”
Lipton stared at him blankly.
“The heiress Tara Hanson of the Palm Beach Beach Hansons. The family owns deluxe resorts and that airhead is a model and an influencer and has that new reality show everyone is talking about,” O’Connor said.
Lipton slow blinked.
“She dated the running back for the Cowboys. You remember that sex tape that got leaked,” O”Connor said in a whisper.
Recognition bloomed on Lipton’s face. “Hands-on Hanson! That was impressive piece of work but wait the chick taking one on for the team in the sex tape that’s not that porky kid we arrested outside of 356 Madison.”
O’Connor sighed and took a long pull of his beer. “That’s what I’m saying dummy the Chubbs we picked up thinks she’s this Tara Hanson. She was trying to get to Tantamount Production headquarters on the 21st floor. She refused to show ID and went all squirrelly about body switching. While ou were batting your eyelashes at the security guard I was trying to calm her ass down. Look at the number she did on my arms.”
“That’s terrible. So Tara Hanson got Freaky Friday-ed like in the movie with Jodie Foster or the remake with Lindsay Lohan. Classic, just classic. But the real question is why does a grown ass man know so much about reality TV. I’m just saying,” Lipton said and began to cackle.
“Screw you, I’m a renaissance man,” O’Connor said with a mouthful of peanuts.
The friends laughed and finished their beers. Lipton motioned to the bartender. Tate gave her a nod and returned with two shots of Old Granddad, a pair of Coors Lights, and another bowl of nuts.
“I heard you talking about Tara Hanson where you part of the detail that escorted Tara out of the Times Square Sephora. Her speech about self acceptance and being trapped in someone else’s skin was weird but beautiful you know,” Tate said.
“Nah, Times Square is a different precinct. Oh for Pete’s sake, where have all the real men gone? Is everyone watching girly tv shows, Christ on a cracker,” Lipton said throwing up her hands.
O’Connor guffawed. They downed their shots and returned to their beers. O’Connor showed off his scratched arms and Lipton pretended to play the world’s tiniest violin for him. Rolling his eyes at them Tate walked away to grab drink orders from the new customers walking into McCluskey’s.