“The city is buried, deep, hot, she burns so bright!” Stella shouts from her sleep, thrashing around amongst her blankets.

I rush over to her bedside and try to wake her, shaking her with such a delicate force. To no avail she is still stuck in her nightmare, sweat drenching her body. I pull her into my arms and try consoling her through her unconsciousness.

“Baby, baby, you are okay! Shhh! You are okay! Mamas here.” I say, stroking her jet black hair. I hold back tears and try to fight the urge to slap her awake.

“She is buried deep..the bright city burns so hot..” she mumbles as her eyes finally flutter open. I take mental note of the words she keeps repeating and rock her back and forth in my lap. My chest feeling as if a brick fell on it.

The doctor said she would eventually forget. Well at least most of the details. But here she is, stuck in a never ending hell, a constant loop of memories of how she almost died and I can’t take any of the pain away. I can’t save my baby from her traumatizing past and I feel so defeated.