VISUAL PROMPT
by somatonic @deviantart.com/somatonic
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Arriving at this fantasy location, your character must make The Ascent.
VISUAL PROMPT
by somatonic @deviantart.com/somatonic
Arriving at this fantasy location, your character must make The Ascent.
It's normal for the character to have some of the same emotions throughout the story, but some of the lines seemed repetitive, for example when talking about hunting you wrote 'along the way’ twice, back to back.
Also, because it's almost an excerpt from a story, there is only so much a character develops over the course of a page in a book. I do think that he changed from beginning to end, but we don't see how. I would like to see more of a thought process or wild rush of emotions, memories, etc. that push him towards this climb.
Nice! The writing felt a little stiff and stilted at first but loosened up towards the end. As for the character, very intriguing! It makes me want to know what happens. Maybe show more of the character’s response, though. Instead of just saying “he was at a loss for words,” try to show more of what he’s feeling through his body language. His heart skipping/pounding, palms beginning to sweat, his breath becoming labored.