At the very least I try to visit Vegas every weekend to see my son. It is not that bad of a drive from Los Angeles. It’s tough but I just hope this weird transitional phase in my life is over soon. My life just seems like a series of liminal space from emty apartments to empty desserts. Sometimes I try to explore some of the landmarks in between the two cities. I’ve been to mining places, Joshua tree, old western towns. I love the dessert! Sometimes when me and my co parent get in an argument I just drive. And I keep driving until I’m in open land. It just feels peaceful. I feel closer to the sky and the mountains. It’s like I can talk to them. One day we got into a huge argument about me not being able to afford day care. “I’m trying so hard to find a job” I say but I hate that you just decided to move to Vegas with my son, now in order to be close to him I have to make due in a city where I don’t have the same resources.” Im a fucking A&r Brianna ! There are no labels in freaking Vegas what do you want me to do!!!” Brianna shouts, “your not applying your self!!! When my father was out of work he took himself the the nearest help wanted sign and started working there! Just get something for now! She says “It’s temporary”. I storm out of the apartment hoping to create space to process the conversation. I get in my car a before you know it I was back on the open road. It must have been 3 in the morning but I didn’t care. I’m driving, and driving, and now I’m realizing that I am pretty far this time. I change directions and continue down a sandy side road. I see an abandoned shack lying crooked in the distance. “Perfect!” I think to myself. I can just post up right over here. I park my car next to the shack. I go to explore. I walk on side and first thing I notice is most of the shak is buried benneith the sand. But it’s a heap of sand piled up on the back of the structure and it looks like a big beige pillow. I lay down on it and look up at the gaping hole in the ceiling. I can see the stars as bright as the La Skyline. Next thing you know I wake up and it’s broad day light out side. I must of drifted to sleep. Noticing that I’m in a frenzy I pause for a minute. I take out my camera and take a picture of my surroundings. I smile and say “thank you” then I get back into my car and head back to Vegas!