It was a relatively good day for the a math test, easygoing.

Maybe today I could do better, hopefully.

Mrs. Rich began handing out the papers, giving words of encouraemt to my class mates around me.

Then she got to me.

She gave a gentle smirk, with a thousand meanings behind it.

“ Good luck Alexandra. You’ll definaintly need it.”

Before I could answer, she whipped wround and cat walked back to her desk.

I looked at my classmates around me, easily scribbling things down on their papers.

It was like they were drawing a beautiful mural across a brightly colored paper.

I looked dowm to see MY colorful paper, but it wasnt there.

Rather, I was met with equations so simple it shouldve been easier than moving your own fingers.

But it was like gibberish to me.

The teacher looked up at me. Wait no, DOWN at me, from her desk.

She snarked, rolling her eyes and looking back at her computer.

I could feel tears well in my eyes.

It hurt alot.

_Look at me now. You’re probably sick of me now, aint you ‘teach? Im gonna make you look so ridiculous now!_

It was time to turn in our papers.

Everyone was called up by name, obviously me last, due to my last name starting with a W.

“.. and finally..”

My heart had never felt so broken.

So squeezed dry.

But this was a normal every werk school math test, but no matter how many times it could happen, the familiar feeling of being ashamed of failing could never leave me.

“.. Alexandra, step up.”

Mrs Rich called to me, adjusting her glasses to directly stare into my hopeless eyes.

All my classmates knew my problem, and yet they all in unison went silent, some staring after me, some whispering.

My bottom lip quivered as I handed her my paper, blank.

She didnt even look at the back to see if I did anything.

She loudly expressed her concerns for me, and sent me back to my seat.

The voices were loud again around me.

“ Free time for everybody until im done grading these!”

Mrs Rich exclaimed.

_My whole life in this class I was made to be known as sick in the head when I wasnt.._

__

__

After a few minutes, she called us all back.

We all sat down as she gave us a small talk on how well some of us did.

.. then it was my turn to be talked about.

“ .. But ONE of you didnt seem to study hard enough..”

She walked by my desk, tapping it very clearly in front of the class.

_Then help me! Stop making fun of me!_

__

I thought, yearning for someone to vouch for me.

But no one said a word.

“ You need to try a little harder in math class, Alexandra..”

My mom explained in the car.

_Around this time she didnt know what was really happening._

__

__

We got home, my eyes heavy, but not with sleep.

With tears that lapped over my skin, now down like waterfalls as I nonchalantly slipped into my room.

**Why is it so hard to try to care when no one will help me?!**

**“ I just want to be what you wanted me to **

**be.”**

****

****

These events still hurt me sometimes.