I spend most of the day cooking with tv in the background. I want to be ready by 3 knowing my mom will likely be late.

Josh Telling my mother that I’ve tried to give her resources, direction, boundaries with love. She says “we are down here” and “you are up here,” that I am the guiding light.

Being honest: my brother and I experienced childhood emotional abuse. Some physical abuse for him. It seems like she’s letting this sink in. Josh asks if Scobee has ever apologized.

By the time the food is ready, no one is hungry, the kids are in their rooms, and my mom has yet to arrive.

My mother calling herself a grandma for the first time. velociraptor t shirts make good gifts, and great first impression’s

Being late “because of traffic” and having stopped by Fred Meyer for potato salad and macaroni salad

The Brussels sprouts and ham are a hit. The Brussel sprouts came out perfectly. Shane eats a lot of cranberries.

My mom got hit on her hand for leaving the restaurant to watch a TV show. Later, she got punched in the face for sweeping grandpa lees foot. Josh tells her that some parents set a low bar.

She knocked over a Shabbat candle while looking at a picture of us. She doesn’t know about the sabbath. We will find time to celebrate.

The egg salads are delicious but we know we will just throw them away when she leaves.

We have a long conversation about interrupting. This pushes me to interrupt them to explain how these politics work.

I tell them about giving an impromptu lecture about being transgender on the family cruise and being called Emily.

I make a peppermint White Russian. They both enjoy a sip.

She asks to be corrected when she gets my pronouns wrong. I tell her dad doesn’t like to be corrected.

She tells us that at 6, I had an existential crisis of purpose. I threw a fit on my bed, thrashing. I also hugged a lot and was very shy.

Mom shows us her weight watchers app. The bread rolls have left her with very few points and they are all gone now.

She tells of a time in college when she visited. I was an RA and a crisis hotline counselor. A lot of people need a lot of help.

Josh shared about his family story. His dad punched him. The relationship is fraught.

Adam comes out and tries to eat carrots. We re-enact him eating broccoli. He denies the caricatures.

Josh talks about what it’s like for him to raise a queer child.

My mom talks about Scobee’s family and the abuse he suffered.

I blend the butternut squash soup and bring it over. They both enjoy it.

My mom doesn’t understand why family interactions have to be on my terms. I emphasize the progress we are making. She says again that she doesn’t know how long she will be here.

I ask if I should send Scobee a list of things to improve on. She says not yet, we have to go slow with him.

Josh and I realize my mom has no emotional language. She illuminates that her brain works too quickly. We must talk more than once a month.

They talk about Australia. We tell her we want to move to New York