I wish I had never let go

I wish that I could still call your mom whenever I was in trouble

I wish that I could fill the empty drawer in your room with the clothes I always forgot

I wish that I had someone to talk to

Because you never judged me

Not even once

Not even when I snorted every time I laughed

Not even when I would fall for the same stupid boys

Not even through the awkward phases of my early teenage years

You never once paused and looked at me weird

Made me feel lesser than you

I miss the person I was with you

I miss letting myself really be me for once

You were my escape

Now I’m trapped unable to escape the feeling of grief for a person that still breathes