Am I Hotter To You If I’m Superman?
Lois: “I know who you are”
Superman: “Uh, Clark Kent”
L: “No, who you really are.”
S: “Heh, uh what do you mean? That’s a weird thing to say.”
L: “Have you ever noticed a resemblance to Superman when you take your glasses off?”
S: “Yeah, lucky me. My doppelgänger is Superman.”
L: “Have you ever noticed that when you run off, Superman starts fighting the bad guys?”
S: “Hmm. Now that can’t always be true. Come on.”
L: “I mean, it’s pretty much always happening.”
S: “That’s a strange coincidence”
L: “And why is it always me that’s getting rescued by Superman? It’s like I’m a magnet for bad things happening to me, and every time here comes Superman who just happens to look like my boyfriend with glasses off. Do you even need glasses?”
S: “…”
L: “Clark, I’m not stupid. It’s been long enough. Now stop gaslighting me and tell me the truth.”
S: “Am I hotter to you if I’m Superman?”
L: “Oh yeah. Definitely hotter.”
S: “Ok, I’m Superman.”
L: “No, I mean like, don’t just say that because it makes you more attractive to me.”
Superman starts levitating and zaps the couch pillow with his lazer eyes.
L: “I knew it! I knew it! Wow, this is going to complicate things.”
S: “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you! It’s complicated dating a superhero. “
L:”…and this was my favorite pillow!”
S: “Yeah, I always hated it. Sorry.”