Looking at the tops of everybody’s heads is annoying. Nobody’s head looks good from the top. Their face, maybe. But I can never see their faces. Bending down hurts my back. I’m getting too old for this.

Being tall kinda sucks. Especially when your skinny. But at least I’m not short. My friend monkey tells me that you NEVER want to see the inside of a gorilla’s nostrils.

Being tall isn’t too bad, but the worst part is getting a girl. Sure I catch their attention, but not for the reasons your thinking. My yellow, blotchy complexion and skinny frame don’t do wonders for my too-baggy clothes, either. I snort when I laugh, and I’m vegan. Nobody likes vegans.