Seth was only half the man that Micheal was, he wasn’t as educated or athletic. He was just there and to others he was this ordinary guy that walked with anything less than a purpose but to me that purpose served as the definition of home. He was mature and surprisingly understood my jokes, he was defiant but misunderstood.

Micheal was always visible to everyone, seen and heard. Except I never noticed him until he had asked me out Friday night on the blechers during a football game.

He was cute and unspoken for but he wasn’t the boy next door. The one who looked out the windows in the forefront of my mind. Conclealing the anguished girl buried in insecurities. He had the power to evoke emotion that I didn’t know I still had, to awake hidden notes, I didn’t know I had written, give me breathable air that I had forgotten to inhale. My habits became encouraged by his presence and happiness.

I lived through him as if I was his guardian.

Yes, I loved him and not to long ago did I confront my feelings and find out he loved me. However he didn’t love me how I loved him, he didn’t see a future in me, only a present. He didn’t catch my small glances, only my small actions. How could I start anew when I was already placed in his mind as a quiet, lonesome girl, eager to have a boyfriend. It wasn’t just that and it wasn’t just his looks.

Micheal was open to knowing all of me, the me that came off with my makeup. The me that wants a simple life, the me that didn’t dare approach him out of uncertainty.

But in the end Seth held the power, it was his choice.