You never asked, but… It hurts me, too. I never wanted to hurt you But lately that seems like all I do I care so much that I cry over thunderstorms At the thought that those that I love could be gone in an instant But I understand you’re the victim When you called me about something that happened two month ago You’ve been miserable for all that I know Why am I even here then, though? For most of my life, I’ve been killing my mind Since I was eleven, I’ve made myself cry It took so much to be able to speak It took so much to remember to breathe I’ve had to teach myself how to socialize How to accept myself just enough to survive How to remember to do simple tasks How to be fucking happy And yet I still worry I still think about death sometimes I still wonder why you’d ever choose to be with me But you’re here And you’ve been here Why? If all I do is make you miserable I apologize profusely and promise I’ll change Then never do— Why are you still here? Guilt And shame Are the two feelings I hate I’ve felt them for most of my life and don’t want to feel them again. Guilt And shame Are what I felt When you called me You never asked, but… It hurts me, too.