The invitation came to you in the beak of a crow. The envelope was heavy and cream and busted in blood red lettering an address to your name. You open it and outfalls a card into gold coins. The card says in bright, happy letters

“You are cordially invited to Hades’ first birthday.”

When you arrive at the party, you are greeted at the door by Eurydice. She smiles shyly and tales your coat. You feel silly for wearing a coat to Hell.

Eurydice hands you a black and silver party hat and ushers you into the festivities.

“Oh, you made it! I’m so glad!” Hades breaks away from a conversation with a Satyr and glides over to greet you. He towers over every other guest in the party and you think to yourself “Lifts.” You’re anxious and you get catty when you’re anxious.

You bow. He is a king after all.

Hades thinks it was super weird but he knows you’ve never been here before.

“I was worried you wouldnt come! I love your podcast,” He gushes. “I wasn’t really into true crime before - I mean I know some of those guys - but boy do you know how to weave a tale!”

You are not good at taking compliments, so you smile politely and say “Happy Birthday. I see you’re turning…one?”

“It’s my first birthday ever! I was born and devoured by my father before time technically ever existed so I never knew when my birthday was and then I thought ‘Why not just pick a day?’ So I picked today! And I invited everyone thag I thought was cool!”

“Oh, wow, I’m honored.”

“But seriously, how do you do it? How do you engage with death with such pizzazz? Doesnt it bum you out?” he asks while pouring you a glass of mysterious brownish-pink liquid.

You hesitate to take it and he laughs. “It’s just jungle juice for the mortals. Don’t worry. I wouldnt pull the same trick twice.”

You take a sip and feel warthm envelop your body. “I guess I just view death as a natural part of life, even if it’s caused by unnatural forces. I mean we do things that could kill us all the time: drinking, flying, fighting. Being afraid of death is kind of like being afraid of life.”

“Being afraid of death is like being afraid of life”, he repeats slowly. Then, he claps and says “Ha, how novel!”