Cinderella and the halfwit

The clock struck midnight and she realised she had to sprint to the coach before the spell broke otherwise he would uncover her stereotypically female background. She reached the 200 steps and shouted “who the hell thought 200 steps was a good idea? I’m in heels!” Thinking on her feet, she reached under her extremely puffy dress, slipped off shoes and picked them up before running down the steps barefoot, all the while saying “this dress is too big, I literally can’t see the steps in front of me, I’m going to fall” Sure enough she did.


Crash! She tripped and the shoes broke into thousands of tiny little pieces. She felt a sharp pain in her hand, when she looked down she saw pieces of glass stuck there and blood beginning too ooze out of her skin. The coachman ran up the steps to help her and she was inside the coach when the prince turned up.


“Damn it! She’s leaving, I’ve fallen in love with a girl I’ve just met and she’s leaving...I will never recover from this, hello darkness my old friend...” the prince cried. It was at that moment that Josephine happened to walk by, he looked over at her, she stared back and beckoned him over. Within minutes he was down on one knee and she said yes.


As for Cinderella, she realised that she wasn’t in love with the Prince because they had just met each other at the ball and in that time, hadn’t spoken to each other once. She also realised that heels in general were not a good idea.


When she reached her house, she dealt with her hand and decided that enough was enough. She was done with people pushing her around and making decisions on her behalf, tonight she had followed her own path and she felt more confident in herself (even though broken glass was a consequence).


She confronted her evil stepmother and told her piggish stepsisters where to go. Afterwards she took what little belongings she had and headed into town. It was there that she ended up being offered an apprenticeship behind the bar of a local tavern due to her kitchen skills and quick wit.


So what happened afterwards? The evil stepmother and co are still trying to figure out how to run a house, the Prince got married to Josephine in August, which he regretted as she showed her true colours after the wedding night and Cinderella became head bar woman at the Mother Goose tavern.

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