“Fuck!” The words bounced off the ceiling and back into my eardrums.

I was alone, in bed, sweat soaking the sheets now. I needed to change them. I touched my face with both hands, thank goodness I still had them. It was all a dream.

I had reached over to press the light on the alarm clock beside my bed. I stretched over instinctively and banged the button with my forearm. Ouching as my wrist bent over the alarm clock. Did I just forget I had a hand? Surely that dream was just intense. So intense it made me think I still had no hands. My wrist strained as I got up off the bed and onto my feet. The light of the clock turning off before I could check the time.

“Fuck sake,” I squeezed from my lips.

Reaching over to press it again, my hand felt strange. As though it wasn’t mine.

‘3:35am’ it read. I had to leave for work at five. I had more than enough time. I should have slept more.

My beard itched from the sweat of the dream I was having and so did my body. It makes sense to have a shower. So I did.

Every action involving my hands felt strange. From opening the door, to turning on the water for the shower, even towering myself dry. It was as though my mind forgot I had them.

I watched something last night about a strange phenomena called phantom pain. Where people who had lost their limbs could still feel the movement and pain of the limb they lost. This felt like the opposite of that. It was as though my limb forgot it even exists. A full ache and less clarity in the movement of my hands. Wait was I getting some type of arthritis? I should call the doctor. There’s no way I could go to work if this stays.

My hands pained as they started to wriggle on their own.I could see them move now but I couldn’t feel them. I felt paralysed yet every finger tapped itself against the inside of my palm. A pain pronged from my wrist now and I saw a tearing of my skin. Some skin ripped open and blood began to seep from the wound. A perfect circle. My palm began rotating the blood dripping onto the floor. I couldn’t feel a thing. My hand span around and began to dance on my wrist. Tendons, veins and capillaries were visible as my hand fell onto the floor. My jaw hung open in awe and shock. This pain should be terrible yet I could feel nothing. Nothing but a perfect circle and blood spewing out from it…