“We’re talking about WHAT!?” My mother smiled happily. “I think you’re old enough now, and I don’t have to do it alone. I bought a book!” She held it up. “It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health.” Mom sat down in the rocking chair. I exhaled deeply. “Oh dear.” I sat down on the stool next to Mom. She started, “We already talked about where babies DON’T come from, right?” I nodded. “And Dad told you about the boy bits and the girl bits.” “Yep. Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore, you can say-“ I gulped. “penisandstuff.” She raised an eyebrow. “Okay, if you’re sure,” Mom said gently. I nodded.

“So, today we’re going to talk about what happens AFTER the sperm goes in the vagina.” I shuddered. Mom looked at me. “Janet, you’re 12. You can do this.” She cleared her throat and began. She pantomimed the-! Eeeeeew. She started talking about how the sperm travel up the cervix after that and one of them fertilizes the egg, and that makes the embryo cell. I groaned. This is so awkward.

Mom read from the book. She even did voices for the characters! “The baby grows into a billy goat! I know that.” “ZYgote, not billy goat. Can we stop talking about this? I much prefer science.” I giggled. “The bee is really funny. He doesn’t want to learn about this, either.” Mom smiled. “I mean, I could just tell you how you were made, instead of reading from the ‘boring book,’” Mom said. “EW EW EW NO!” I gagged. “That’s even worse!” Mom laughed.

“Well, it was one fateful Sunday in April, and Daddy was having a bad day-“ I smashed my hands over my ears. “LALALALALA I’M NOT LISTENING!!” I yelled. I ran down the hallway. “I’M NOT LISTENING!” I uncovered my ears at the end of the hallway. Mom sighed. “This is going to be, well, difficult. Come sit down, Janet.”

“””””””

My eyes shot open. I was covered in sweat and scrubbing my mind out. “Ugh, that was the most DISGUSTING dream I have ever had!” So THAT’S what would happen if I didn’t go to Maturation. Yeesh, sign me up!

3/08/22