Banana trick, to ring up the price code for a cheap item, like a banana, instead of a luxury item during self-checkout.

Shopping with Pretty Reckless80 was more than I ever dreamed. I couldn’t wait to shove my smoking hot footage in Emma’s smug little face. Emma said that a dime like Pretty Reckless80 would only be interested in me for my coin. But I had already Venmo Pretty some spending money and got her a couple of Ubers and she still wanted to meet up IRL. So who’s getting played Emma? Not me. Chicks are kinda dumb.

Yeah Pretty Reckless80 was kinda shady but that was part of her appeal. Even with her sponsored ads there was no way she was getting all that swag. Influencing is about the hustle. That’s why I wanted to film her and understand her world. Deep down, Pretty Reckles80 was good people and the fact that she was built like a brick house didn’t hurt. You know what I’m saying. Pretty Reckless80 popped up on my FYP. I don’t really follow females but she was thicc so I hearted her. Pretty does those GRWM posts, usually putting on makeup or trying on clothes. Her drip was solid. I rained down the hearts. Pretty was friendly to me in the comments and I’m not lying I was feeling her. Big time.

Pretty followed me back. Me. She was feeling my posts. Mom wanted me to beef up my college applications, so I studied documentary filmmaking. Think Making A Murderer, only edgier. My mom got me a GoPro for my birthday, so my stuff was tight. Emma said my camerawork was reductive but Emma is still all up in Micheal More so what does she know anyway. It was Pretty Reckless80’s idea to collab and make connections with her followers. The plan was I would live stream her next shopping foray. Instead of all the soft Insta filter crap, we would create gritty in your face footage. I was like hell yeah so go viral or go home.

We met for the first time in the Target parking lot. Pretty was even hotter in person. I could tell she liked my vibe. Suck it Emma. Shopping with Pretty was a brave new world. Instead of end caps of canned peaches, Target was virgin territory waiting to be plucked. My camera was rolling the whole time as Pretty filled me in on the grift lingo. We covered banana tricks, hollow men, and five-fingered switcheroos. Yo, my chest was thumping when we switched those labels. I kinda wondered how Pretty, her real name was Martina, planned to stay incognito with her face and handle streaming live to her fans. I thought what if some narc fan reported her to loss prevention? But she knew what she was doing, right. I was Oliver Twist and she was Fagin, right.

When I helped Pretty Reckless80 load up her car, she explained her philosophy. It was dope, really. Stealing was like her personal discount. She scored so much dope shit I didn’t even mind loaning her my mom’s credit card. Something happened with her card or something. It’s cool she is totally going to pay me back. If it was so wrong, why would the store make it so easy to steal? Pretty Restiless80—Martina, she said I could call her Martina if I wanted—explained they were practically begging to be exploited. The likes were already piling up on our livestream. I could see the comments scrolling. People couldn’t believe Pretty was hustling for the world to see.

After I loaded her trunk, I wanted to grab a coffee with Martina to watch the likes, but Martina said she had to go do a thing. She asked me to send her the edited footage for her followers. Chicks! What edits? I tried to explain but Martina was already on her phone talking to some guy. That’s cool. I mean she’d figure it out soon enough. Pretty will catch up with me later. She promised. I can’t wait to tell Emma how Pretty dug my vibe. I know she’s following my feed. Emma is blowing up phone. And now Mom is in on it, too. Damn. Let me live. I did one last pan of the parking lot and followed Pretty’s BMW out of the parking lot. Perfect.