This is really good! I love the way “time” on line one and “thine” on line three match each other with the long “i” sound.
I think you kind of ignored the rule in the last line by using “I”. I really like it, because it makes this poem very personal. If you want to follow the rule you should change the last line to something like “…and myself thine.” I personally really like it the way it is, though!
I think instead of starting the last line with an ellipse, you put a comma at the end of the second line instead. This tells the reads that they should pause after reading the second line in a more natural way, and should still give the desired effect.
I hope my feedback can be useful for you!
