I blink once. Then twice, thinking I was mad. Then thrice, then I was sure I was awake. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of expectant eyes looking at me, as if they were expecting me to say something. I inwardly swore as I saw a large banner with a name that wasn’t mine and a subtitle of ‘The meaning of life’. These were my sister’s fans; she was a famous philosopher.

Then a voice - my sister’s manager - nudged me and urged me to go and speak. I breathed. I was so not ready for this. How did I even swap with-? No time for that. I can’t ruin Bree’s career.

“I would first like to thank everyone for coming,” I say anxiously,” Uh- thank you for taking your precious time out of your day to come here.”

I breathed again, then said,” The meaning of life depends on feelings at the time of thinking, depends on-“ I internally swore; Bree was a philosopher, I was a scientist; philosophers don’t look at the scientific outlook of anything,” Depends on.. uh, perspective and a positive outlook on life. Then.. you can grasp the meaning of life. The meaning of life is to cherish the few moments you might have left, as they slip through your fingers like liquids in your hand. The meaning of life is to be bold, to..” Now I was speaking BS, I was never bold and neither was Bree... At least...

I didn’t think so.

“To... Be brave, and be fierce. Don’t let anything get in your way, and if something does... Battle the dragons, battle the monsters... because the sword of happiness and... positivity -“ Oh my, I really am bad at this,” Can beat anything.”

I cringed at myself. My speeches were horrible. Horrendous. How Bree managed this is beyond me.

“And the final meaning of life is two things, that fight each other, but are both equal. First, never give up. It’s important to never give up, to have a burning passion of everything. Because never giving up means you strive, means that your colours fly even higher. Second... Giving up is ok. When you want to end everything, when the dragons have taken over the world, when there is no more to battle... Giving up is fine. Don’t shame those who give up, because... it’s ok. Just remember, one day, even if there is nothing left... a soul will.. your soul will- uh, avenge your losses, because souls never lose. They never lose and... There is always a next time. Thank you...”

I wanted to run off the podium, but awkwardly walked away, away from all the applause and cheering. I didn’t like it. I’m never becoming a public speaker or a philosopher. Please take your job back Bree. I can’t deal with it anymore.