How can I love someone so much when all they do is everything but love me back? He says I love you constantly but as much as his fists have met my face, I doubt that is the case. Why can’t I leave? It’s like he has some sort of chip connected to my brain that won’t let me leave. Well today is the last I can take it. If I keep this up I’ll end up digging my own grave. He won’t be back home until tomorrow which is a surprise being that he never trusts me enough to let me stay home alone for just one night. I’m guessing this is the universe telling me this is my chance because I doubt I’ll get another one like this.

As soon as I arrive home from work, I grab the biggest bag I could find and start throwing as much clothes as i could into it. I grabbed my toothbrush, pads, and anything I would really need to survive on my own for a little until I find a set place to stay. I have no family, or even friends to really ask for help and that’s because he wouldn’t let me befriend anyone. If I did it was always a huge problem, so after a while I just got used to being alone. I can’t even go to the police because he is a lawyer and has a lot of connections with the police. I should just run to another country at this point. If I stay anywhere in the US I bet he would somehow find a way to find where I’m at.

I resume getting all I can together and head to the kitchen. Little did he know I had a secret stash just in case I ever did decide to flee from him somehow. I hid it under the the sink in a bleach bottle. He would never have guessed money was in there since he doesn’t do a lick of cleaning. I took the entire bottle and also put it into my bag.

Finally ready to leave, I grab a piece of paper and leave a note for him even though he doesn’t even deserve that. It said, ‘I love you, but I can’t anymore. Find someone else to be your punching bag.’

I placed it on the fridge and then put the key to the house on the dining table. I headed for the door, stopped and took one last look at the house. The memories were never always bad, but that is usually how it goes right? You think it is all sunshine and rainbows until they decide to show you their true colors, and by the time that happens you’re so far into it that it becomes hard to escape. I hate knowing I became one of those people that became so lost and empty under his grasp that there wasn’t any way out. I wasted ten years of my life being trapped but now I can finally try to be free again. Love isn’t always worth the pain, especially this.

I left closing the door behind me and I never looked back.