A star shines bright
Across the summers day
But darkness takes hold of the light
Looming spirits wander; come what may
Souls wail and screech as they reach toward the dark sky
A lone soldier journeys through the grime and gore
Grabs hold of hope so dear for today you say goodbye
Tomorrow comes as it does till forever more
The darkness fades and mornings dew
Light illuminates the eerie mood
And the sky had never looked so blue
The language you use feels very poetic here. I thought it was a nice piece describing the dark of night and the hope of the day. I did get a little confused with your imagery, though.
You mentioned a star shining bright across a summer’s day which I found very difficult to imagine. At first, I thought it was really clever about how even the brightness of stars fade with the brightness of the sky, but then the piece continued to talk about darkness. Perhaps simply saying “summer’s night” might have been more accurate here?
Be careful, I think there were some typos/grammar errors too. “Looming spirits WANDER” and “does till FOREVER MORE”
Eerie not Erie.
I liked the way you finished and ended this piece with positive images of light and brightness to show that it’s come full circle. It almost exists as a metaphor for what the piece itself is describing :)