I find myself,

waiting,

hoping, that you’d leave.

It’s a dream.

Then I wonder,

What if I leave?

What if I give up on everything,

everything we’ve had.

It’s the fear in me that forces it.

I don’t wanna leave,

but it feels as if I have to.

To protect you.

To save you,

from the hurt that I’ll cause.

It’s never over,

It never will be over.

Until I stop it.

I feel held down.

Forced to stay.

I don’t wanna be your friend.

I don’t wanna see you,

talk to you.

How could I tell you that?

You’d feel offended,

hurt.

It’s like I’d kill for you,

but the other part of me wants to forget you.

Just to forget.