Today I told my mom that I couldn’t wait to shower tomorrow. She looked at me quizzically and said, “if you’re excited to shower, your life must be really boring.”

And yeah, I probably deserved that. But she just doesn’t quite understand the way I see showers.

I like showering because I like when my hair looks nice. I like when the curls fall the right way and they’re bouncy and shiny like first or second day hair.

I like showering because I get to shave my body. I like when I get under my blankets in bed and I can run my legs back and forth to feel that nice fresh smoothness they have.

I like showering because I like using all of my fancy shower products. I like how soft my body scrub makes my skin, how clean my body wash makes me feel, and how good I smell after.

I also love that showering gives me personal alone time.

When I’m in the shower, skin turning red with the heat, it’s just me. It’s whatever I want. My feelings, my thoughts, my tears. When I’m in the shower, nobody interrupts me from daydreaming about the girl I like, or pretending to film a hair tutorial video, or singing my favourite song.

But most of all, the thing I love about showering is the cleanse. But not the physical cleanse; the mental and emotional cleanse.

Taking a shower is like recharging my battery. It’s like starting a new week on a Wednesday, or getting a good nights sleep in the middle of the day.

I failed my math test today, but that won’t matter tomorrow. I ate unhealthy food without working out today, but that won’t matter tomorrow. I could embarrass myself tomorrow, or sit alone at lunch, or have a really bad day, but that won’t matter. None of it will.

Because tomorrow I will shower.

And in the shower I will scrub my skin raw, and the water will burn off everything - failed tests, unhealthy food, embarrassment, loneliness, bad days. All of it will be gone. I will exit the shower in a light shade of red, skin on fire, but I will be smiling. I won’t care about what happened today, or yesterday, or the day before, because this is a new page.

I have turned the page, I am clean, and I can’t wait to do it again in four days.