“Good afternoon, Mr. Goldberg. My name is Jean Roarke. I hear you wish to discuss a wish you made on the twelfth?”

“That is correct. Please, take get rid of this!” The man fiddled with a golden ring, twisting it around his finger.

Mr. Roarke nodded, then turned to his computer. “I’m sorry to hear that your experience has been unsatisfactory. Can you tell me who it was that granted your wish two weeks ago?”

Mr. Goldberg sighed in relief. “Yes, thank you. It was someone named K—“ his brow furrowed. “K-Kyle? Someone named McLean.”

“Kevin McLean?”

“Yes, that’s the one!”

Mr. Roarke paused, eyes flitting over the monitor. All of a sudden he looked rather pained. He glanced over at the anxious man, screwed his eyes shut and sighed. “Have you never read a cautionary tale?”

“I’m sorry?”

“King Midas! The most basic ‘be careful what you wish for’ story there is.”

“I did read the disclaimer—“ Mr. Goldberg started. He had indeed. Heading every contract between wish granter and grantee was a statement advising caution when listing the terms of a wish.

Mr. Roarke took a deep breath. He dealt with a lot of foolish people in his line of work, it couldn’t be helped. Carefully, he asked, “Would you please specify what went wrong with your golden touch?”

“I did add a clause to make sure it would only affect objects that were inanimate, inedible, and nonliving. And that it wouldn’t work automatically, I had to will it.”

“I see. So what went wrong?”

“It’s too easy to turn things into gold! As soon as the thought passes my mind, that’s it! There go my glasses. And I can’t turn it back!” Mr. Goldberg pulled a glasses case out of his pocket and opened it. The precious metal prescription lenses were now very much opaque. And somewhat bend out of shape, too, because pure gold is fairly malleable.

“I can see how that might be problematic,” Mr. Roarke said, looking at the cushioned chair slowly shift elements. Even solid, the cushion looked squished. “I believe we will be able to void this wish, and undo the most crucial damages. Unfortunately, you are going to have to come back another day, as Mr. McLean has called out sick today. I would advise you not think about gold.”