“Oh, aren’t you grouchy today! Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

“Wrong side? I didn’t even wake up in the bed! I was studying all night! The last time I remember, it was 4:37 AM. I fell asleep, on the floor, in a puddle of my own drool, surrounded by notes! My laptop had died in the night and I woke up 15 minutes late… Yes! I am grouchy! I’ve got a sore hip and a crick in my neck! There’s no ‘wrong side’ if you weren’t even in the bed!”

A loud slurp of coffee.

“God, I HATE college!”