Is this real? Is he actually here? In my coffee shop? I never thought I would see him in person. His smile was even more infectious up close. My heart started racing. Why didn’t I take more time on my hair this morning? No, calm down, if I start to freak out then he’ll think I’m just some fan. I have to play this cool.

I pretend to be busy in my phone as I make my way in his direction. I give him a light bump as our shoulders collide.

“ Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” I rush on in a frantic breath, seemingly a harmless oblivious patron. But then he looks at me and I freeze. I now understand the meaning of starstruck. The heady feeling of someone you’ve admired for so long, in close proximity is paralytic.

My plan goes out the window.

What was I trying to accomplish? Maybe I just wanted him to notice me? At this point in time it really doesn’t matter because I’ve completely made a fool of myself. I realize that I’ve been frozen and staring like a total weirdo as he’s been talking to me.

He surveys me as if I’m a puzzle he can’t quite figure out. Green, his eyes are so green like freshly watered grass in the summer heat. The man is actually so beautiful that I think it has rendered me speechless. “ Miss? Are you ok?” He says a little louder like he’s had to repeat himself, and now he’s wondering if I’m deaf. Nope, just stupid. I’m trying to respond but can only make out some god awful wheezing noise that resembles a wounded animal. I have completely fucked this up.

He leans in closer to me and my impulse causes me to flinch. Must be senses overload. “ Sorry, I was just going to pick up your purse for you. Must’ve dropped it when we bumped into each other.” I have completely left this conversation one sided. Why is he being so nice? Aren’t rich,successful, gorgeous celebrity’s all assholes? And he has right to have an ego, his talent is incomparable. But instead he seems… sweet? He seems… real. Like a real person. And then I realize, that’s all he is. Just a guy trying to make it in life and decided to grab a coffee this morning; I put on a pedestal.

“ Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” I finally respond as I give him my most polite smile and head towards the exit. Because I don’t want to be a regular fan. The one who looks at him like an object of my affection or owes me his time because of said affection. I rather he know that I saw him. As the real person he is.

Someone tugs my elbow as I make my way out the coffee shop I’ve visited a dozen times. It’s him.

“ Can I buy you a coffee?” He asks and I smile back.

“Sure.”