As darkness closed
In cold and damp
I looked towards the light
A small fragment shining
That only beckoned escape
Like a beacon of hope
Yet I sat within the dark
As the spiders found a home
Among my feet
Sometimes a dark shelter
Beats the darker day
So I sat as the world crumbled
Hi! Really good piece of writing, I loved the Juxtaposition you used in the first two lines:
> As Darkness Closed in cold and damp, I looked towards the light.
With
> A small fragment shining that only beckoned escape like a beacon of hope.
And how you gave life to the room with the line “the spiders found a home among my feet”, I think it really brings your peace to life and gives it depth and emotion.
The piece altogether was really good, well written and well thought out and I don’t see anything wrong with it regarding the creative writing and story.
Although, I’ve noticed some problems in the, grammar, punctuation and spelling specifically in the paragraph.
> Yet I sat within the dark As the spiders found a home among my feet
Should be:
> Yet I sat within the dark, as The Spiders found a home amongst my feet.
Overall I think this is a good piece of writing with impressive and noticeable writing techniques used in it that could only use a few tweaks.
I hope you appreciate this and it helps you improve :)
