The chatter of feeble conversations soothed her ears and the familiar aroma of freshly brewed coffee comforted her. The window poured light onto her table - warming her hands and allowing her to watch the golden glow open the buildings. She was sitting in the corner of her favorite cafe from high school - college loomed over her years and she hadn't been here since freshman year. Old friendships fanning away with time overflowing with newness and conformity of campus life. But now - in the familiar unfamiliarity her brain turned to her childlike state, begging for her friend since pre-school.

She had first met Marianna in first grade in the chaos of moving across the country right before Christmas. She had etched into the classroom puzzled in awe and shyness. But she felt a tug on her hand, pulling her to reality. The first words they ever spoke were:

dat

"Did you know that they make the toilets green on St. Patrick's Day?"

At that attempt of the hilarity of showing her around, they had become best friends: Marrianna and Ellie forever against the world. Elementary school, then middle school, and finally, high school passed in a flurry of school assignments, morning coffee runs, and the finality of throwing up their caps on graduation. And though they had hugged promising to still talk in college, their once strong friendship faded with distance and an argument the the weck after. It had been stupid over something that she had no recollection of, but shouting and insults and blaming were the part that tore them apart - right in this very cafe.

So, she pulled her phone from her pocket. She typed the few words - shoving her finger on the blue button and thrIndergardenhone. Her hands trembled and her heart pulsed in her ears like she was running a marathon. She had wanted to say these words for a long time - Im sorry - but on the cusp of adulthood, she was prideful which stole the words from her mind.

Expecting maybe forgiveness, maybe a question of what took you so long, maybe just some kind of reply - she waited maybe five minutes or maybe twenty before hearing the chime that would answer her thoughts. Number blocked was the faint text that displayed on her screen.

Tears streamed down her face - second chances aren't a given it seems. At twenty-two, she still had a lot of growing up to do all the same as the finality that ended her childhood at eighteen. She was presently stuck in that corner of the restaurant for hours and hours until closing. She came back day after day. The booth formed around her, physically leaving her back on the place. Cups of coffee piled on her table, but she never said a word Some still say you can still see her fifteen years later you can see her shadow lurking in the far right corner.

"Really, mama?" her daughter echoed.

"Yes, my love" responded Marrianna as she tried to comfort her daughter on the daughter of elementary school friendships, and she never did Ellianna again after she left that cafe weeks later. But her daughter carried her name - a desperate cry of forgiveness that marked the apology she longed to give from her seventeen year old self and the girl she til carried to twenty two.