Crawling, she can feel the soft beige carpet. She sees Mother sitting across from her. Mother's blue eyes accompanied by a gentle smile. “Come here missy, mama wants a hug from her special girl.” Mother said.

Missy sits there bouncing and laughing. She then started crawling again, her gaze fixed on Mother. Mother's auburn hair shined in the sunlight. The sunlight that peered through gave the room a calm, warm glow. Missy finally reached Mother and was picked up. Her olive eyes glowed and Mother's smile grew.

———

Missy walked on the beige carpet. Waiting for Mother, she paces back and forth. The oak door swings open revealing Mother and a man. They walk in together, holding hands.

“Missy, why are you awake? It’s 12 o'clock.” Mother says.

“I waited for you.”

“Can’t you see I have company? Give us some alone time.”

Mother's red lips grew into a smile, but her eyes widened, and eyebrows rose. Mother pulls the man to the couch and sits on his lap. She places one arm around his neck and uses the other to shoo Missy away. Missy backs away. The red of Mother's lips fade as she kissed the man. Missy felt a pain in her stomach. She runs up to the bathroom, slamming the door.

———

Brick red stained the thin greige carpet. Missy watched as the argument had escalated. Mother stood there surprised. The man’s hand stung pink from hitting Mother.

“Get out.” Mother says.

The man continued to step towards mother, reaching for her. Mother slapped his hand away. She opened the front door and shoved the man out of the house.

“Bella!” He yelled.

SLAM!

Mother had slammed the oak door in his face. Missy then hugged mother, tear in her eyes. Mother spoke, “I’m so sorry Missy. This’ll never happen again.”

———

Missy just stood infront of the black casket.

“It happened again,” she said.

The reds once bright in Missy’s eyes, were dull. The roses surrounding the casket were grey. Peoples cheeks weren’t rosey from the cold, they were grey. Mother’s lipstick was a charcoal grey.

Two years.

Two years and five men later, Mother had finally found peace. She laid silent in that casket. Free from the pain of raising her children. From the grueling men in her life.

———

“Soon the color in Missy’s eyes faded. Nothing could stop her from leaving this world.” I sat there, finishing my story. The chair was hot and stuck to my legs. I try to readjust but to no avail, I’m still uncomfortable.

“Jada, I appreciate you were finally willing to share the story about your sister. It was a big step towards coping and overcoming this. Do you mind if I ask how she died?”

I sat there, eyes wide. “You’re my therapist, aren’t you supposed to read between the lines or something?!”

“No no… You’re right. I appologize for overstepping.” I watch as my therapist readjusts herself in her chair. “Well, I assume missy isn’t your sisters actual name right?”

“Right, it was Mothers nickname for her.”

She nodds. “Then I feel a good start to your healing process would be to call your sister by her name from now on in these sessions.”

I hesitated.

My therapist watched my gaze dance across the room. She then placed our talking piece on the table infront of us. “Use this if you need it, okay?”

I nod. I focus my gaze on the tiny red panda stuffie, trying to formulate my words.

“Red was always Meredith’s favorite color. I just wish she could’ve seen it a little longer.”