November 18, 1991

I knew better. That’s what I keep telling myself, even now my hand shakes and my mind is filled with pain. I didn’t wait long enough to check on a buck I’ve been hunting for all week. In my excitement, my eagerness, I didn’t wait long enough and now I know, I am dying.

November 19, 1991

Through all my years of experience, I had always given the right amount of time. The deer, hurt, dying, lunged at me with incredible strength. Impaling my stomach and leg. It went to thrash and pulled us both to the ground. I yelled in pain, the deer breathed heavy and died. I knew better and now I know that death is near. I feel colder, weaker. I cannot make it to town. I have no radio or walkie. Though the blood has stopped the injuries to my insides remain. I am dying, I know I am.

November 20, 1991

This will be my last day. Even now my eyes are heavy, my head droops down exhausted. I am tired and I know when I lay down I will not be waking up. To my wife, my boy, my brother. Know I loved you with all I had. Know I am not scared, I am ready. To mom and dad, yes I know you left us many years ago. I will be seeing you soon, at least I hope if our maker is true and just. I’ll thank him for everything. For my family, for the beauty of this earth. In the end, I knew better.

Nov