Is this the right thing to do?

I wish I knew, but I’m only twenty two.

Does this make me weak?

Choosing myself over the meek.

“Legs up here, hon.

Don’t worry. You’ll soon be done.”

A single tear slides from my eye.

Is it right to let my baby die?

The father is gone, no where to be seen.

My parents only bit of advice: “At least you’re not sixteen.”

Is this reason enough?

I take a deep breath; I knew this would be rough.

“Just a pinch,

Don’t move an inch.”

Gods, will I ever forgive myself?

This guilt is enough to make one off themself.

Should I even feel this guilt?

It’s not like I want my baby to wilt.

Why should I even feel this pain?

I believe every woman has the right to do the same.

Besides, what could I do different?

I’m young, broke, and alone. Not belligerent.

Why does this hurt so much?

My eyes squeeze shut. A nurse’s hand I clutch.

“There you’re all set.

It’s perfectly normal to be upset.”

Why do I feel so empty?

It’s not like I used a machete.

Tears pour freely from my eyes.

Was this truly wise?

Does it matter?

My baby is already no more than splatter.

I clutch my hands to my fading bump

as I swallow my throat’s growing lump.

Should I have done it?

While it’s hard to admit

And I truly feel like shit

It feels wrong to ignore

what I feel at my core.

Was it the right choice?

I don’t know, but I feel ready to rejoice.

Is it wrong to be relieved after a fetus’s death?

I don’t know, but I can finally take a deep breath.

Am I a monster?

No, I don’t think. I just wasn’t willing to be a martyr.