Is this the right thing to do? I wish I knew, but I’m only twenty two. Does this make me weak? Choosing myself over the meek. “Legs up here, hon. Don’t worry. You’ll soon be done.” A single tear slides from my eye. Is it right to let my baby die? The father is gone, no where to be seen. My parents only bit of advice: “At least you’re not sixteen.” Is this reason enough? I take a deep breath; I knew this would be rough. “Just a pinch, Don’t move an inch.” Gods, will I ever forgive myself? This guilt is enough to make one off themself. Should I even feel this guilt? It’s not like I want my baby to wilt. Why should I even feel this pain? I believe every woman has the right to do the same. Besides, what could I do different? I’m young, broke, and alone. Not belligerent. Why does this hurt so much? My eyes squeeze shut. A nurse’s hand I clutch. “There you’re all set. It’s perfectly normal to be upset.” Why do I feel so empty? It’s not like I used a machete. Tears pour freely from my eyes. Was this truly wise? Does it matter? My baby is already no more than splatter. I clutch my hands to my fading bump as I swallow my throat’s growing lump. Should I have done it? While it’s hard to admit And I truly feel like shit It feels wrong to ignore what I feel at my core. Was it the right choice? I don’t know, but I feel ready to rejoice. Is it wrong to be relieved after a fetus’s death? I don’t know, but I can finally take a deep breath. Am I a monster? No, I don’t think. I just wasn’t willing to be a martyr.