its been a long, long time since i've memorized your face.

every night when i close my eyes, it is you. you're like a fever that refuses to break. a plague that dwells inbetween my worn out sheets.

i remember the first time we met. you whispered violent fancies in my ear, with you hands wrapped around my neck. you told me you would make me yearn to never wake up. shackled my wrists and threw me into restless slumbers.

every morning i wish to never return to your wicked embrace. but the sun sinks below the horizon, such is an indistutable force of nature. as is sleep stealing my weary body away, returning me to your clutches.

so my heavy lids succumb to your beckoning, and i am left with you again. and no matter how much i resist, how much i plea, you dictate my nightmares once again. fill me with dread, paint me a sliver of reprive, then tear it away. again and again and once more. leaving my wounds small but raw and always lingering.

and the most damming part of it all is — that when i wake up trembling like a newborn fawn in the springtime — i can never recall your face. your lines and edges slip through my memory like water through my fingers.

and i am left with a small, deplorable, part of myself that is eager to return to you. so that i may, maybe just this once, memorize your face and never see you again.