Penelope:

My head is thumping. I can feel the cold ground under my skin. I think it’s grass. Slightly damp with dew. Better than concrete. Must be morning. I’m not sure what’s wrong. The world feels cold. I can feel my bottoms around my ankles. At least I still have them. My shirt. I’m not sure where it went. I should’ve worn a dress. Stacy says dresses are easier to get off and keep up with. I’m not sure why I don’t listen. Ever.

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He was nice yesterday. Nice isn’t quite true. He was just nicer than the rest. He gave me some extra. Told me to buy me “a good meal”. Not really sure how to do that with only five extra dollars but it was a nice thought. I hope I get to spend those few extra bucks.

I need to try to get up. I’m not sure where I am. And the cops might walk by. That would be bad. Maybe just another minute and I’ll get up.

I wonder when they’ll find me. Well if. I tried speaking quietly but my throat is so dry I can’t really get anything out. Plus no ones gonna help anyway. Gotta do it on my own like always. I tried getting help that last time. That was the first time.

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I’m still laying in the damp grass. Everything feels like it was. I must not be anywhere populated.

I try standing but all that happens is a whole lot of fucking nothing. My arms won’t move from next to me and my legs won’t bend to stand. I’m not sure how this happened.

Last I remember I was with him and he gave me the five bucks. Then I went walking into the park across from Miller Place. Now I’m here unable to move and feeling like I spent the evening at a concert. Screaming so the lead singer could hear me knowing they never would.

Maybe it was him. Maybe he wasn’t so nice.

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My ribs feel tight every time I take a breathe. I wonder if they’re broke. Maybe just bruised and they’ll heal themselves. That would be best. I might be out of work for a little. Stacy can’t cover all my shifts though. Marcus wouldn’t let her even if she said she could. He doesn’t want us overly used. He’s good like that.

Marcus. Now he’s someone who would help me. If he knew where I was. He’s probably looking for me now. Unless he’s not.

I roll over onto my belly and a sharp stabbing pain shoots through my entire body. Feels like I’ve been shot everywhere all at once. I just have to get home and I’ll be okay.

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I wonder how mom is. I should call her. It’s been a while. A long while. I wonder what number she has. Has she tried calling me?

And baby Myka. Oh baby Myka. How I miss the smell of his head. And watching him see how this world works. I have to keep my promise to him. I have to get up.

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Myka:

I always wondered what it was like to have a mom. Mother’s Day is always so awkward when everyone writes about their mommas and I only have gram. She’s great and all don’t get me wrong. Without gram I probably wouldn’t even be alive. I would be…I don’t even know.

My mom left. A long time ago. When I spoke to her last she still called me baby Myka. I’m twelve now and that was at least three years ago. I definitely wasn’t a baby anymore.