I held his hand and with tears in my eyes, I begged him to stay. Gripping it closer to my chest knowing that any minute could be our last. He looked me in the eye and said “I’m not goin’ anywhere”, “I know that”, my voice began to shake, “I just miss you sometimes”. “Well I’m right here when ya’ need me,” he said with a fake expression of happiness plastered across his face. Deep inside I knew he was lying, but what else could he do? I sat with him in a small recliner, big enough to fit the both of us considering how small he was at the time. I placed my hand on his knee and silently cried myself into a pit of destruction. I tried to hold onto my tears as if I were a dam holding onto flooding waters. I could tell he was hurting but wanted to stay strong for me, but how strong can you be for someone when you are too weak to take care of yourself. I sat there holding up as much of my weight as I could to make sure I didn’t crush him. He was practically skin and bones, and it was my fault. He sacrificed his life to save mine…after all I did. He took that bullet for me and now we both have to pay. His payment was more deadly than my own. Though, the thought of life without him killed me more and more each day, the pain of living in a world without the one person I thought I would have forever was now my life. My mistakes killed a man, not just any man, my father.