And it wasn’t lust And it wasn’t love It wasn’t trust It wasn’t trust It wasn’t trust But what it was Was what it has been And what shall be and And what wasn’t then He was a fraud I didn’t know I was buying counterfeit It was counterfeit It was counterfeit He was a spurious portrait of a projection of an idea Created from everything he wasn’t and everything he would never be And I bought it, like that ring that turned my finger green from that table shop at the beach that one summer while you stayed back at the hotel with covers over your face letting me know I should be punished I should be punished I should be punished because how dare I ever enjoy a vacation for myself and not tend to every wound you dig into your own skin, how dare I not bandage it up and apologize. I didn’t put that knife to you with your own hand, Like I didn’t put a drink to your lips that night you tried to kill us both in that shitty silver hatchback in a church parking lot, there was no god that night I didn’t know about your eating disorder why didn’t you tell me about your eating disorder