“And our next speaker is Coral Mullen.”

I take a deep breath and step on stage. My eyes unconsciously scan the crowd, looking for my mom who said she would be here.

She is frantically waving in the front row, and I feel a smile stretch on my face.

In the row behind her, I see someone. My heart sinks into my stomach and my smile drops.

I almost stumble, but I manage to keep my pace. My ex. With his stupid judgy look on his face.

Of course he’s here. He never came to any of my events before and now he’s here when we aren’t together.

He always thought what I did was dumb and unserious. I wasn’t committed to a real job. I was too outspoken. That’s what he always said even though he never attended a speech of mine.

I make it the stage and accept the microphone.

“Hello everyone.”

I can’t tear my eyes away from my ex. He shifts in his seat which makes sense since he could never sit still for even a short period of time.

“I am Coral and I am the Heartbreak Guru. I am all about female empowerment, especially in a time where many people feel at their lowest.”

He rolls his eyes. He hates feminism. It is an overused word that gives girls the excuse to rag on guys.

I open my mouth but no words come out. What am I supposed to say next? I shouldn’t worry about his reaction though I shouldn’t not say something because of him. That would undermine what I am all about.

“Emotions are powerful. You are allowed to feel them. Your emotions are valid.”

I can see him scoff, practically hear it right beside me. My hand begins to shake. I have to put both my hands on the microphone to steady it.

They shake from the anger in me. How can he judge me? He broke MY heart.

“You know that some people used to say that I wasn’t qualified to talk about this? Well I recently broke up with my long time boyfriend and it shattered my heart. And I want you all to do something for me. Built up negative emotions aren’t good to keep to ourselves. It can be overwhelming and stew so long, it creates bitterness and anger. I suggest you release that. So anyone who has had their heart broken, I want you to repeat after me,” I wait a moment so everyone can prepare.

“Fuck you!” Some people shout it gleefully. Others gasp in shock. I avoid looking at my mother who probably is in the latter category.

“Sometimes, cursing and shouting what you wish you could say to your ex, even if it isn’t at your ex, can help release that negativity. Verbalizing your feelings can be so powerful. For me, once I can say them out loud, it helps me feel like my emotions are real.” I can see some audience members nod.

I never felt like my concerns were heard. It was always all about how things affected him. These people deserve to hear it their emotions are real and valid from someone.

I look straight at my ex as I continue, “While I was the one to break up with my ex boyfriend, he was the one to break us up. Just because you are the breaker upper, doesn’t mean you don’t feel heartache.”

In a movement of my arm to brush a piece of hair from my face, I glance at my watch. It is time to wrap this up.

“There is life outside heartbreak. It won’t last forever and life does go on, even if it doesn’t feel like that at this time. I hope you all took something away from this. To end my time with you, I would just like to say that in doing this I hope to help someone out there, but this has helped me. Something I’ve learned is that you can be angry, just don’t be angry all the time. Release it from time to time.”

I begin to walk towards the curtain. Still with the microphone, I stop.

“My ex is in the crowd, so I hope he learned something from this. Thank you all for coming out!” I blow a kiss in the direction of my ex and walk off stage.

I hear yelling and harsh murmurs directed to my ex and glee floods my body.

What? I didn’t say you couldn’t hold a grudge and get a little revenge.

———

(I almost titled this: Fed(upwithmy)Ex)