It was a Thursday afternoon when I first noticed it. When you put your hand on my thigh like you had a thousand times but something about this time just felt different. My heart fluttered and my brain turned to mush and the words i wanted to say died on my tongue. When you experimentally held my hand for a few seconds and my face exploded in flames, and burned still after you let go, flustered. It was in our freshman year of high school when I met you while i was in love with someone else. when they broke my heart and you were there to pick up the pieces. it was all the days i spent with you nonstop, learning the ins and outs and of your mind and memorizing your face. it was the way i found myself smiling at your texts and when i would randomly think of you. it was the way jealousy burned in my chest when you excitedly told me about your new crush, or when i saw a picture of you with another girl. it was the way everyone else saw it before we did. it was the way i wanted you even when i didn’t know it. it was the way you never made me feel disrespected or invisible. it was the way there was no heartache you couldn’t undo. it was the buzzing in my mind as i fell deeper and deeper, and there was nothing i could do to stop it. it was the way you hugged me and held me and held my hand in front of everyone. it was the way you talked about a future with me. it was the way you always seemed to just understand me. it was the connection i felt with you, like when we first met it felt like i had known you for many years. in lifetimes before this. it was the way i immediately trusted you, and i had never trusted someone so easily in my life. it was the way i just felt like i knew you. it was the way that the past and all the hurt that came with it seemed to slowly disappear every moment i spent with you. it was the way all of my nightmares were replaced with dreams of you. it was the way you touched me. it was the way you looked at me. it was the way it crashed into me so suddenly, but by then i was too far gone to stop it. it was the way i couldn’t have been scared even if i tried. it was the way you made me feel wanted. it was the way that we had been more than friends, yet less than lovers for a long time. it was the way we finally crossed that bridge, and everything just fell into place.

and now it’s the way your soft brown eyes capture mine and hold me there. it’s the way your hands caress my skin and my heart so gently, like it’s made of glass. it’s the way you make me feel beautiful. it’s the way that i have never been so sure about anything in my life. it’s the way that i know that for you it’s always me, and for me it’s always you. it’s the way you treat me. it’s the way you hold the door for me. it’s the way you put your arm around my waist. it’s the way you are always in every corner of my mind. it’s the way you have had my heart from the very beginning. ever since you made me that ring from a purple sticky note and i found myself smiling at it like an idiot alone in my room. and it’s the way that you love me in ways that i never thought were possible, ways i didn’t think i deserved. it’s the way i see a future with you. it’s the way that i know you are my forever.