I sigh. How could I forget once again? It’s like I’m doing it on purpose. I wish I was then I’d have an excuse for not showing up to her grave. The Truth is I’m scared.

I’m scared she’ll see me looking at her and wish me away into the wind. But I know she won’t, not anymore that is. As much as I hated it back when she would rain insults on me all day and all night.

I miss it now. I miss her. I just want to hear her voice again whether it’s her yelling or mumbling under her breath about what I did wrong again. I just want her.

Just because other people moved on doesn’t mean I have. I’m still on the swings getting pushed by her, feeling my hair fall onto my face over and over.

She’s the world to me; even in death.

I’ll love you forever mommy.