When I walk into a room

I am invisible

Small

Unimportant

When I walk into a room with my friends

Suddenly I am visible

Mock-worthy

A laughing stock

But I absorb the hurt

I absorb the pain that they wish to spread

I absorb it for my friends

I hold it in for their sake

So who exactly am I

When I am not a shield?

Am I the geek? No

Am I the freak? No

I am no one

I am lonely

I am useless

I am far, far away in the very fabric of the earth

So…so far away—away from everything…all but static around me. Peace…peace.

My purpose in life is to be a shield

To be invisible when not in use

To be a good little shield when I am not watched

To be a perfect little shield

Or else I die lonely

I die crying

I die eating and eating and eating

I die. I die. I die.

So I’ll be invisible

I’ll be your shield

I’ll cry in private

I won’t yell, or scream, or be showy

I won’t cry

I promise

I’ll be a good shield

I don’t need a counselor anymore

I’ll be your shield

——

_(I do love me some free write. You let your mind take you wherever it wants to go. You don’t stop. No. Anyways, thanks for reading and have a great day.)_